In the last two weeks, two young boys have killed themselves after repeated bullying by classmates. In both cases, the taunts focused largely on calling these two kids — both ELEVEN YEARS OLD — gay.
Yes, you read that correctly. Two eleven year-olds were called “gay” so often by bullying classmates that they killed themselves. Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover and Jaheem Herrera are dead because they couldn’t stand to be bullied anymore.
These are both such horrifying stories… On the one hand, it’s awful that these kids were bullied and teased so much by other kids that they chose to take their own lives. It’s awful that children are so cruel that they’ll push other kids to the brink of ending their lives, rather than facing another day of their taunts. But it’s also a sad statement that “gay” and “fag” and “queer” are still the verbal weapons of choice on playgrounds in the twenty-first century.
The really scary thing? These are just two examples FROM THE LAST TWO WEEKS.
There’s also 17-year-old Eric Mahot, who killed himself two years ago. He shot himself after being relentlessly bullied by classmates and told, “Why don’t you go home and shoot yourself, no-one will miss you.” Turns out, plenty of people do. His MySpace page is full of heartbreaking revelations about a teenager with lots of spirit, and friends and family who love him.
15 year-old Lawrence King, who was murdered by another student because he was perceived as being gay. Yes, a 14 year-old brought a gun to school, and shot one of his classmates in the head. Because he was effeminate and different.
When I was in junior high and high school, coming to realize I was gay, I eventually began grudgingly admitting to myself that my classmates who called me “gay” probably had a point. I wasn’t teased too much about it — I mostly kept to myself at school and stayed out of everyone’s way, being on a first-name basis with several teachers but rarely hanging out with classmates from my own school — and I certainly wasn’t violently harassed. Still, it was uncomfortable and difficult, and I was thrilled when I finally graduated high school and had the freedom to surround myself with peers of my own choice.
I used to comment that it was amazing how different the environment was for LGBTQ youth. There certainly weren’t Gay-Straight Alliances in school back in my day. (For those that don’t know me well, I graduated from Cocoa Beach High School in 1995, just to give you perspective) We were a few years away from Will & Grace. There were certainly no “out of the closet” gay students at the time, though I’ve been shocked to realize how many gay and lesbian classmates I didn’t know about. (And there were only 500 students there from 9th-12th grade in 1995) Things have come a long way.
Still, I’m going to stop cheering for how much better things are now for LGBT kids and those that are perceived to be such.
Rest in peace, guys. I’m sorry our society couldn’t offer you a better young life.
Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover
Jaheem Herrera
Eric Mohat
Kevin – thank you for providing this reminder. I read Eric’s my space page. How amazing! The sad thing is that the kids who bully Eric and other kids today grow up to be adults who do similar things. I see it all the time and wonder where does such hatred come from. Is it really motivated by the core underlying need that some people have to be better than someone else. To feel so badly about yourself that you have to make someone else miserable in order to mask you own pain. This post is one of your best. Thanks again for the reminder. If we don’t stand up and help society address this core issue with our youth today – our future is dark. I for one am going to increase my support on organizations such as Time Out Youth.