Obviously I’m disappointed by the California Supreme Court decision yesterday… The decision means that same-sex couples will not be able to get married in the State of California.  One small silver lining:  remember the 18,000 couples with existing marriages performed during the brief period of legal same-sex marriage in the state?  They’re still married.

And here’s another thing that I take some comfort in… the court that made this decision is the same court that decided a year ago that the state constitution guaranteed the “basic civil right” to marry regardless of the genders involved.  This tells me that we’re not dealing with some homophobic judges who are gleefully oppressing gays and lesbians, but that there are genuine legal issues being considered.  The court is respecting the will of the voters, which I will grudgingly accept, even if I disagree with the slim majority.

There are 28 other states with constitutional bans on same-sex marriage, but times are changing.  A recent study showed that 58% of respondents aged 18-to-34 believe that same-sex marriage should be legal.  Of those that DON’T support the legalization of same-sex marriage, 60% are in favor of civil unions, and the results show a similar generational divide as that surrounding legalized same-sex marriage.

And the percentage of respondents who have a close friend or a family member that is gay has increased by 8 points since 1998 and 12 points since 1992.  When you break it down by age groups, 58% of the 18-to-34 year-old group responded favorably in this question.  It drops to less than 34% of people aged 65 or older.

Bottom line: I genuinely believe that we’re dealing with ignorance in the purest sense.  These are people who don’t know that they have had a “real live gay” in an important place in their heart.  They truly believed that their nephew or niece, or long-time next door neighbor, or even their child or parent, really had a “roommate” for all that time.  They’re old-fashioned, they don’t know any better, and many of them aren’t interested in learning that what they were taught for decades is wrong.

And we’re going to outlast them.  

This country will become increasingly progressive as more and more people learn about people and things outside of their household, beyond what their parents understood about the world, and in contradiction to what same of their religious leaders have told them.  They’ll find a richer, more diverse reality out there, and they’ll grow.

And I’ll undoubtedly invite a few of them to my wedding.


3 Responses to Reactions

  1. dylan says:

    another silver lining i see in all this is that the court actually upheld the ban…

    ::: a brief pause to allow your blood to boil::::

    had the court struck down the amendment there would be no more conflict… here’s why this “conflict” is important.

    the CA supreme court is MUCH wiser than we, or the media has currently given them credit… by allowing the “18000” to keep their marriages, they have inturn introduced the pathway (and arguably the fastest) to have a nationwide introduction of marriage equality. at this time, the state of california is partaking of segregation. treating one group of homosexual citizens differently than another group. and because equal protection under the law is a US constitutional issue this point WILL be raised eventually to the US Supreme Court. Keep in mind it was not the congress that gave women the rights to abortions, it was the US Supreme Court… a much more conservative one than we currently have, or one that we could have with the confirmation of Sotomayor.

    DO NOT waste your time crying over prop 8… but be thankful for our opportunity to move the cause forward. every major milestone has been confronted with controversy and anger (the only people that like change are wet babies). but to look at innovation in a historical sense, we have managed to cope with automobiles, the service-sector economy, and women no longer being property.

  2. Melanie says:

    I concur with you Kevin. In particular, I am glad that you pointed out what the court did. The real question here was a legal aspect to the rights of the citizens of California to change their state constitution. The fact that the issue was gay marriage, really was not the center of dispute, if you will, even though we all know that is why there was the challenge and it was where the focus was directed. So, I am really okay with the decision, as it supports the rights of the citizens. To your second point of illuminating those still in oblivion, yes, there is still work to do and I will dance at your wedding 🙂

  3. Rebecca says:

    I’ll be joining that dance party! xoxo

    Ps. Please tell Sal that my roommate doesn’t put cinnamon in her coffee and mornings are just not the same without him!!!


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