Facebook rules

Time magazine has a great article posted entitled, “How Not to Be Hated on Facebook: 10 More Rules.” Taking the brilliance of the “12 Most Annoying Types of Facebook Users” and going a step further, this lists out ten rules to follow if you want to avoid being hated by friends online and in person.

1. Stop taking quizzes. Nobody cares what literary time period you are.
2. If you sync your Twitter account to Facebook so that you fill others’ news feeds with a constant stream of mundane updates and references to people with little @ symbols before their names, be prepared for people to de-friend you. Maybe even in real life.
3. Don’t friend someone you don’t actually know
4. If you must friend someone you don’t know, include a message explaining why you are doing so. For example, “Hi, I’m your cousin’s roommate!” would suffice.
5. Actually, no. Why would your cousin’s roommate want to be your friend? That’s still weird.
6. Don’t invite people to events if they don’t live in your city. I’m glad you still live in our old college town, but guess what? I don’t. Even if I did, I still wouldn’t waste my Friday night listening to you play music at that vegan coffee shop I frequented when I was 19 because I couldn’t get into bars.
7. I’m sorry your grandfather died of emphysema, but I will not join your “cause.”
8. Make sure all your photos are rotated in the proper direction. How will people know how fun your Fourth of July barbecue was if every picture looks like you fell over?
9. If you create a group called “Lost my cell phone; need your numbers!,” I will join, but I won’t give you my number.
10. Cryptic status updates about your mental state — “Rachel is trying so hard,” “Rachel wishes things were different,” “Rachel is starting her life over” — don’t make you sound intriguing, just lonely and pathetic.

By the way, the article was apparently inspired by a video from the folks at YourTango.com, entitled “Facebook Manners and You.” See below if you want to give it a whirl:

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2 Responses to Facebook rules

  1. Austin says:

    When I first read the title, I thought it was an opinion — like “facebook ruuulz!!1”

    Which of course it does, but only if you follow the above guidelines.

  2. Leslie G. says:

    That video clip made me laugh so hard I almost dropped my laptop! i needed that!

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