Worst of the Worst

Rotten Tomatoes has compiled a list of the worst movies from 2000-2009. It’s an intriguing concept — we’ve all seen movies that were just plain painful to watch… I thought I’d share the complete list with you, my loyal readers, and ask for your comments.

Here they are:

100. Whiteout (2009)
99. Glitter (2001)
98. Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005)
97. Boat Trip (2003)
96. All About Steve (2009)
95. Lost Souls (2000)
94. The New Guy (2002)
93. A Sound of Thunder (2005)
92. Babylon A.D. (2008)
91. Surviving Christmas (2004)
90. Dragonfly (2002)
89. Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
88. Kaena: the Prophecy (2004)
87. Testosterone (2003)
86. Pavilion of Women (2001)
85. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006)
84. Thr3e (2007)
83. Doogal (2006)
82. Supercross: the Movie (2005)
81. Extreme Ops (2002)
80. Big Momma’s House 2 (2006)
79. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
78. Deck the Halls (2006)
77. Date Movie (2006)
76. Johnson Family Vacation (2004)
75. Son of the Mask (2005)
74. Envy (2004)
73. Gigli (2003)
72. Broken Bridges (2006)
71. College (2008)
70. New Best Friend (2002)
69. The Cookout (2004)
68. Yu-Hi-Oh: the Movie (2004)
67. The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)
66. The Fog (2005)
65. Swept Away (2002)
64. Corky Romano (2001)
63. Yours, Mine, & Ours (2005)
62. Serving Sara (2002)
61. Good Luck Chuck (2007)
60. The Perfect Man (2005)
59. 88 Minutes (2008)
58. Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
57. Godsend (2004)
56. Because I Said So (2007)
55. The Celestine Prophecy (2006)
54. Harry and Max (2005)
53. Modigliani (2005)
52. The Bridge of San Luis Rey (2005)
51. Fascination (2005)
50. Dirty Love (2005)
49. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2008)
48. BloodRayne (2006)
47. Soul Survivors (2001)
46. Material Girls (2006)
45. My Baby’s Daddy (2004)
44. Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun-Li (2009)
43. Darkness (2003)
42. House of the Dead (2003)
41. Zoom (2006)
40. Down to You (2000)
39. Miss March (2009)
38. Happily N’Ever After (2007)
37. Code Name: the Cleaner (2007)
36. The Whole Ten Yards (2004)
35. Deal (2008)
34. The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008)
33. Delta Farce (2007)
32. Deuces Wild (2002)
31. The Covenant (2006)
30. Fear Dot Com (2002)
29. Bless the Child (2000)
28. Rollerball (2002)
27. Battlefield Earth (2000)
26. Kickin’ It Old Skool (2007)
25. Meet the Spartans (2008)
24. Texas Rangers (2001)
23. The In Crowd (2000)
22. Disaster Movie (2008)
21. Epic Movie (2007)
20. Crossover (2006)
19. Half Past Dead (2002)
18. Master of Disguise (2002)
17. Twisted (2004)
16. Daddy Day Camp (2007)
15. Alone in the Dark (2005)
14. Beyond a Reasonable Doubt (2009)
13. Constellation (2007)
12. Killing Me Softly (2002)
11. Merci Docteur Rey! (2002)
10. Witless Protection (2008)
9. Redline (2007)
8. 3 Strikes (2000)
7. Strange Wilderness (2008)
6. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
5. National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers (2004)
4. King’s Ransom (2005)
3. Pinocchio (2002)
2. One Missed Call (2008)
1. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)

Now, there are a few on here that I don’t think will surprise anyone. Glitter? Gigli? Battlefield Earth? Everything that Larry the Cable Guy has ever been in? All very bad films, and all definitely worthy of a place on this list.

I’m surprised about Boat Trip, though. Granted, it was by no means a great movie… It was cheesy, exploiting stereotypes about gay men, etc. But I still had a few good laughs over it. Worth seeing on a boring evening with friends and drinks, I’d say.

88 Minutes, with Al Pacino? I didn’t see it, so I’m curious to hear if any of you did. Is it as bad as inclusion on this list would suggest?

The Whole Ten Yards? I adored The Whole Nine Yards, and I remember seeing the sequel and not having a strong opinion of it either way. (I don’t recall anything about the movie other than having seen it, so I couldn’t have thought it was too bad, right?)

I’m surprised to see so many of parody movies on this list (Date Movie is up towards the top, and Disaster Movie and Epic Movieare right next to each other a little farther down) Of course, these are by default going to be cheesy and absurd, but I’ve always found the entertaining in a flipping-the-channels-on-the-weekend kinda way.

Really, though, I only have three major gripes about this list. First, Battlefield Earth belongs WAY closer to the #1 spot on this list. I mean, really… 27th place? Really?!

Second, there’s a movie that absolutely belongs on this list: Batman & Robin. Now, I know some of you sticklers are saying, “But Kevin… that stinking cinematic suppository abused movie theaters in 1997, so it was before this time frame covered by this list!” Well frankly, I don’t care. It was so bad, I believe it has cast a stain on the film industry that carries over into the 21st century, through the sheer traumatic impact it had on those people that had to sit through it.

And finally, an actual movie from this decade that somehow managed to evade this list, though for the life of me I cannot understand why. That movie is the 2007 atrocity The Golden Compass. It was so bad that people in the theater with me were openly (and loudly) mocking it, laughing at the idiocy of the dialogue and shouting their disappointment in no uncertain terms. I’ve never been in a movie that was so uniformly HECKLED by an entire theater full of people, and that includes a year and a half of The Rocky Horror Picture Show every weekend.

The Golden Compass was so bad that I actually wrote a blog about it — TWICE — after seeing it while on vacation. I spent nearly as much time writing about how bad the movie was as I did actually suffering through it. So how did it not manage to make it to this list?

Life’s just not fair sometimes.

So c’mon, chime in here. Which movies on this list were a surprise to you? Which movies totally belonged here, but didn’t make the final cut? Comment below! (On this website, please, not on the Facebook link to it)

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4 Responses to Worst of the Worst

  1. Jennifer says:

    Can I first say I was so excited when I heard “Cheaper by the Dozen” was coming out? I loved the book and the sequel .. the whole family was so fascinating and the father was a pioneer in efficiency technology. The book (I just reread it last week) literally makes me laugh OUT LOUD. And then…then they threw all that away, cast Steve Martin and turned it into complete crap with nothing in common with the original. I spit on that movie for just that alone.

    All the movies I can think of that should go on this list crossed over into the “so bad they’re good again” territory. Like the Vanilla Ice vehicle “Cold as Ice” (or something like that), the movie length Nintendo commercial with Fred Savage (I never did get that damn power glove) or the movie Mike made me watch on Netflix streaming the other day – Redneck Killer Zombies (looks like it was shot with a handy cam).

    I will say Envy – while I hated the movie – doesn’t belong on here because if has Christopher Walken. Anything with that man in it gets a pass. Even a movie with vaporizing poo as a plot device.
    Most of these I haven’t seen – although I think putting the New Guy on that list was a little harsh. I’ll admit it – that movie makes me laugh which is more that I can say for any of the “Epic Movie/Date Movie/Disaster Movie” ones. Especially Epic movie. Anything that has come out of that franchise post Scary Movie was horrid – and even that one is getting old.

  2. Jennifer says:

    PS – I liked Batman and Robin. THERE I said it! It was so bad it was good. 😛

  3. Cori says:

    I defintiely think that “All About Steve” should have been a little closer to the number one spot. It has to be the only movie that I’ve walked out of in the theater. But, I did notice their are some movies that should have made the cut but didn’t. “Dan in Real Life” got a lot of people excited, but when it came out into the theaters, it fell flat. It’s a simple plot line where nothing happens. It’s like eating a hot dog at 7-11. You think in your mind it might be good, because it looks good, but in the end it wasn’t and you wasted your money, time, and precious stomach acid to digest it.
    Also, where’s the movie “Sideways?” That won an Oscar, and so I just HAD to go see it. In the end, I felt like drinking a bottle of wine just to detox off of the crap that movie put out. Good list, just not in the right order, or long enough!

  4. Suzi says:

    Did I miss Norbitt? I didn’t actually see the movie, but something tells me it should have been on this list.

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