I just accidentally started a near-revolt in First Class while waiting to take off. If you’re reading this because you saw something on the news about a rabble-rouser being dragged off of US Airways flight 1709, that was me and I apologize.
You see, US Airways sometimes offers its First Class passengers this delightful little bag of cranberries and nuts. I adore it — next to the free liquor, it’s my favorite part of getting free upgrades to First Class.
But sometimes… Sometimes they have this stuff called “fiesta mix” instead. And frankly, it’s unacceptable.
So when the flight crew decided to let the First Class passengers board waaaay earlier than usual, I promptly hopped onboard and got settled. “Something to drink?” Yes, a Jack & Diet would be lovely. “Something to snack on?” But of course, let’s see…
Shit. Fiesta mix.
No thank you — I had a biscoff and gave a silent shout-out to my friend Jennifer. I did lament with the flight attendant that I wished they had the cranberry stuff, and she emphatically agreed that it was better.
A few minutes later, and more First Class passengers were settling in… Being the nosy person that I am, I overheard someone else express disappointment over the lack of cranberry mix. I turned around and agreed with him, and the three of us (the other passenger, the flight attendant, and me) had a pleasant chat about it.
A few more minutes… And another passenger in First Class sat down and perused the snack options, then mumbled something unappreciative about fiesta mix.
The woman that I’d first overheard complaining chimed in, and pointed me out, saying, “This guy is right — we don’t want fiesta mix. We want our cranberries!”
At this point, it’s POSSIBLE that the double-Jack-and-Diet may have started working it’s magic on me… Because I started asking for a show of hands, who actually liked the fiesta mix. One person bravely volunteered that he did, and the rest of us booed and groaned.
It was at this moment that I realized I was unintentionally building an angry mob, and I promptly ducked down into my seat and shut the hell up.
People are STILL mumbling in angry tones to each other about cranberries and fiesta mix. I hope this doesn’t turn violent.