No, the title of this blog is not an indictment of the crass culture of consumption that has corrupted a joyous celebration and turned it into a capitalistic orgy of gluttony. It’s also not referring to the mindless masses that are all out frantically fighting one another for the last few remnants of Christmas gifts on retail shelves, because somehow ONCE AGAIN they managed to procrastinate buying gifts until the last minute, despite the fact that Christmas is celebrated on the same day of the year, every year.
No, this is actually about the walking dead in Gainesville, Florida.
On Monday, a Florida Department of Transportation electronic sign was apparently hacked by mischievous boys and girls determined to be on Santa’s naughty list. Drivers on their morning commute were treated to a dire warning of, “ZOMBIE ATTACK!! EVACUATE” on the road.
A clever prank, to be sure, but DoT responded quickly by reprogramming the signs and padlocking the control boxes to prevent future mischief. Just to be clear, DoT representative Gina Busscher has emphatically stated that no zombies have been spotted on University Avenue.
This isn’t the first brush with zombies that the Gator Nation has dealt with, however. It turns out a University of Florida employee had actually posted a zombie disaster contingency plan on a university website earlier this year, along with other emergency preparedness plans. Obviously a gag, but the goal was pretty brilliant: to make residents and students think about how to get out of the city in the event of a true emergency.
I for one am proud that my alma mater is clearly ready for the zombie attack we all know is bound to happen sooner or later. Go Gators!