I suspect that everyone knows couples who are so focused on their romantic relationship that they lose all sense of individuality. You know, those couples that lose the ability to say “I” and always speak in terms of “we” instead.
I realized this afternoon that I’ve reached that level of nauseating “couple” behavior, and gone beyond it to a frightening degree. And I have photographic proof.
I’ve recently caught myself habitually referring to my social life in terms of “we” without thinking. When people ask what I’m doing on Saturday night, I say “We have a show to go to” or “We’re just staying home.” That’s bad enough, but I realized this afternoon that I’ve hit rock bottom.
I realized this at the airport, when we (there I go again!) were waiting for food, and I was in charge of guarding our luggage. At one moment I randomly glanced over at our two suitcases, standing side by side, and was horrified.
Yes, it’s true. Sal and I have matching luggage. My mom gave Sal one for Christmas, and I loved it so much that I went out and got one myself.
Matching. Motherfucking. Luggage.
We are so damned GAY sometimes. It makes me want to drink whiskey and play violent video games.