Corporate Layoffs

Back in September, my company had a big round of layoffs and a number of people I know were impacted. Last month, several more colleagues resigned after collecting a bonus check for 2011. And last week, another big round of layoffs hit.

I’ll tell you, I’ve never been more nervous about the long-term job security at my employer. It’s a tough time to be in this industry.

In difficult times, I usually turn to humor (often ill-advised or poorly timed) to work through my nervousness. So this image from Animals Talking In All CAPS gave me a good laugh and a much-needed release of nervous tension:

http://animalstalkinginallcaps.tumblr.com/post/13422547427/mr-walters-please-its-almost-christmas-ill

MR. WALTERS, PLEASE! IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS! I’LL GIVE UP MY BENEFITS. I’LL STOP WORKING OVERTIME. WHATEVER IT TAKES.

Come on, now, Peter, buck up. Let’s get out of the parking lot. It’s nothing personal, you know. A little restructuring, that’s all. Look at the bright side. You made it through the first two rounds of layoffs. Most of your department got let go a year or two ago, which is why you’ve been working so much overtime. Think of how lucky you are to have had those two extra years.

BUT I HAVE BILLS! I HAVE A FAMILY!

So does the bank, Peter. They’re called shareholders. Should the bank’s family have to go hungry too? Of course they shouldn’t. And now you have more time to spend with your family. I’m sure they’ve missed you. Now please, go clean out your desk. Security will see you out.

WHERE WILL WE LIVE?

I don’t know. One of those tent cities that keep popping up downtown? I wish I knew what those were all about. Anyway, I’ll actually miss you, Peter. After 20 years it will be strange not to see your face every day. Tell Susan I said Happy Christmas, would you? The kids too.

Thanks for the laugh, Animals Talking in All CAPS.

I swear working in the financial services company, in this economy and in today’s corporate world, is like fighting alcoholism: you just take it one day at a time, and you’re grateful when you’ve made it through each day unscathed.

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One Response to Corporate Layoffs

  1. […] certainly enough to make a person very uncertain about his job prospects, let me tell you. And the recent round of layoffs wasn’t helping calm people’s nerves down any. Certainly lots of big changes underway. […]

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