Seriously, moving to NYC was apparently a fatal wound to my GatorUptown.com blogging. I find myself writing so much less frequently than I did when I lived in Charlotte, and in some ways it makes me sad.
It also makes me question what I really want to accomplish with this blog.
I’ve been a blogger since before there really were blogs. Back in the 90s I ran a bulletin board system (BBS) from my bedroom, and it was there that I met many of my lifelong friends. I also started posting in a forum on that site called the “Private Forum” that only a small number of people had access to. I got my first taste of blogging there, even if we didn’t call it that.
Posts in my teen years were, predictably, full of teen angst and thinly-veiled professions of love. I used to frantically try to express all of my bundled up teenage feelings in that forum, lashing out in fury at whatever it is that teenagers get furious about. Of course at the time I was struggling with my growing suspicion that I might actually be gay, and I distinctly remember writing through some of those uncertainties and fears. (I was devastated when that hard drive crashed and I lost all of the BBS files, but I’m sure it was crap writing anyway.)
In college I “graduated” to a LiveJournal page, which is still available to browse online if you’re curious. That was really more of a running narrative of my life at the time, mostly with brief updates about college and work and my love life. From time to time I’ll go back and re-read it, and shake my head at some of the stupid things that I thought and wrote in those years. (On a related note, do you ever think back to your life years before and wonder how on Earth anyone ever tolerated you?)
Eventually I started writing more often on MySpace, and that took over for a number of years. The content and theme of that MySpace blog was a direct contributor to my GatorUptown.com description of “Kevin’s rants, raves, and adventures” since that was basically the kind of things that I had been writing about at the time on my MySpace blog. I eventually abandoned MySpace in favor of Facebook, and moved the blog over to this independent page instead of tying it to a social media account. (I still have a Word file with years of MySpace blogs that I will allegedly one day finish transferring into this site… but I digress.)
GatorUptown.com had a pretty good run in Charlotte — I had about 1,000 hits a month consistently since October 2010, with some months topping 2,000 hits. I wrote about travel, about relationships, about politics, and about movies and theater… And I had a fairly loyal following.
Then… I moved to New York, and my writing just dried up. I say “Writer’s Block” in the title of this post, but the reality is that it’s rarely a question of me not knowing what I want to say. More often, it’s a matter of me just not taking the time to sit down and write it. Or worse, I’ll start it and not finish it, and then later decide it’s not worth completing well after the fact. (Example: I started a review of a play I saw in Charlotte recently, but by the time I was ready to finish it, the show was basically over, and I figured there was little point in bothering.)
And it’s not like I’m spectacularly busy in NYC every day, either. On most days when I’m in New York, I work from home, and stay home in the evenings. It’s a rare weekday/night that I actually go into Manhattan, so I can’t blame my lack of writing on being too stuck in the go-go-go of big city life. I just… don’t write.
I think part of it is that I’ve lost my “voice” on this blog. I used to feel like what I wrote had some semblance of a theme, even though it spanned a couple of core topics. Now, I find that I don’t know what I want this blog to really be about anymore.
That’s where you come in, ye few but faithful GatorUptown.com readers. You’re still here, so you still see some hope for compelling reading. I’m curious: what are you looking for when you read this? What kind of topics do you enjoy me writing about? What keeps you coming back?
Reply below and share your thoughts, please. I’d really like to know.