I’m legitimately sick of reading about the public debate over same-sex marriage. Obviously I’m pro-same-sex-marriage, since I’m engaged to marry a man… But we can agree to disagree.
I just don’t see why we’re having a debate about whether or not it should be legal. There’s quite simply no valid reason to prevent two consenting adults from getting married, simply because you don’t like gay people.
The common rationale for prohibiting same-sex marriage — “children should have a mother and a father!” — is absurd. Two people getting married doesn’t mean they’re necessarily going to have children, getting pregnant doesn’t legally obligate an opposite-sex couple to get married, and once you’re married and raising children, it’s perfectly legal to get divorced.
How exactly does prohibiting two men or two women from getting married benefit an actual child? If one of the adults is the child’s parent, wouldn’t it be better for that child to have two parents in a committed, legal relationship? Or is it better for the child to have two parents but one of them be denied the legal rights of a parent? Alternatively, are we meant to believe that if the government doesn’t recognize the marriage, the parent will realize the error of his/her ways and go marry someone of the opposite sex?
No, this “debate” has absolutely nothing to do with the welfare of children. Anyone who is using this justification for why they “don’t agree with” same-sex marriage is either lying, or fooling themselves, or both. There are ultimately only three reasons why people are opposed to same-sex marriage:
1) My church says it’s wrong.
2) My parents taught me that it’s wrong.
3) I think gay sex is icky.
The first reason shouldn’t be the basis of government laws. You may believe that your church forbids it, but plenty of other people believe that their church supports it, or don’t believe in a church’s teachings at all. Your religious beliefs shouldn’t dictate my legal rights, as long as I’m not trying to legally force you to agree with me. My marriage has nothing to do with you or your church; butt out.
Being raised to think and behave towards a minority group with prejudice is not a justifiable excuse, either. Your parents may have been in the Ku Klux Klan, but that doesn’t give you the right to legislate against black people. A history of cultural oppression isn’t justification for continuing it. You’re welcome to hate gay people if you want, so long as your hateful views don’t actually impact me. Sit at home and spew hate all you want to your family, your friends, etc. but leave me and my marriage out of it. I’m not interested, and I shouldn’t be legally held accountable to your biases.
And finally, the “icky” factor is at the heart of a lot of anti-same-sex-marriage views. Some people just don’t want to see a same-sex couple walk down the aisle, kiss, and run off together. They don’t want to picture what happens later that night, though something tells me they can’t help but conjure up images. I don’t understand this – I don’t imagine heterosexual intercourse because I’m not interested in it (sorry, ladies!) and thus cannot comprehend why anti-gay people are worried about “having to picture that”. You’re not invited to my wedding, and certainly not to intimate moments before or after, so why is this any of your concern?
Seriously, I can’t wait for the day when my then-husband and I try to explain to our kids and grandkids why we were once not allowed to get married. I imagine this is what biracial parents have felt, years after interracial marriage was finally made legal.
Same-sex marriage will be legal in all fifty states. Maybe not in the court decisions that come from this week’s arguments before the U.S. Supreme Court. Maybe not even this year, or anytime soon. But it’s going to happen, and within my lifetime if not within the next few months.
There’s just no constitutional reason why some voters’ (or legislators’) prejudice should keep me from having a federally-recognized marriage. It’s an embarrassing throw-back to an outdated way of thinking, and the sooner we move into the future and leave this nonsense behind us, the better.