It’s officially Week 4 of my Ph.D. program (not counting the week of residency) and I’m finally crying “Uncle!” here.
I hate to say it, but this is too much for me right now.
It’s all well and good to say that it will take 20-25 hours a week (minimum) to keep up… But the reality of how that actually feels, and how it impacts your life, isn’t as easily conveyed. After several weeks of this, I’m finding that I just don’t have time to do the things I want to do, to be the person that I want to be.
So I’m letting the school know that I won’t be continuing in the program this year. Maybe things will be different once I have a different job, or better yet, once I can (somehow) afford to be a full-time Ph.D. student without the stresses of work on top of it. But for now, I just can’t continue this.
I do feel bad… I feel like I quitter. I feel like I’ve been fooling myself, thinking that I could do this. But worse, I feel like I’ve been fooling all of you, and for that, I apologize.