Moving and adopting – conflicting priorities

Lots of friends have been asking when we’re following through with our announced plan of moving to Florida. While we’re both really sad about the idea of leaving, we’re also both excited at the possibilities in store.

The timing is looking more and more uncertain, though, for a number of reasons.

Obviously the biggest concern is where we’d be moving to. The house I grew up in on Cocoa Beach has great potential for us to make a home, but the timing of our lease makes things complicated. I mentioned three possibilities previously, and one was that we could move the month after the wedding. That’s looking increasingly unlikely though, because it just doesn’t seem feasible that the house can be move-in ready in time. There’s simply too much to be done, and probably not enough time to do it. Arguably still a possibility, but looking less and less likely.

Waiting even a few months (like until the end of the calendar year) might help, but we’re stuck in a new lease if we stay beyond September. And the idea of being stuck paying the rent even after we move, until they re-rent the apartment to someone else, is daunting. The only thing worse than paying big-city rent prices is paying them for an apartment you don’t even live in.

Another consideration is the process of adopting, which is presumably how we’re going to be starting a family. (As I often joke, we’ve tried the old fashioned way with no success.) Though it’s legally possible for a same-sex couple to adopt a child in Florida, it’s complicated and requires additional legal (and expensive) maneuvers. It may actually be more realistic to plan to adopt as a married same-sex couple in New York, where it’s a comparably simpler process.

One hole in that proposal: do we really want to try to move over a thousand miles with a baby? Especially given that once we arrive in Florida, we almost certainly will have a lot of work to do to finish cleaning out the house and making it feel like a home. Let’s be honest here: there’s no way in Hell that my mom is going to be able to empty out that entire house by herself and have it completely ready for us… We’re going to have quite the task ahead of us when we arrive, and doing that with a baby in tow is a big undertaking.

Obviously, lots to consider… Fortunately we still have a few months before we have to make the most time-sensitive decision, which is whether or not to renew our lease. (Typically we have to lock that down in July, if I remember correctly.) Just in case, I’m already exploring adoption resources to see what the process would be like here in NYC for a married couple.

In short: I have no idea what we’re doing, when, or where. How’s that for a simple answer?

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One Response to Moving and adopting – conflicting priorities

  1. Richard Niles says:

    Florida???!!! When was this decided??!! And without consulting me????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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