Checking in, post-confession

October 27, 2016

My last post was more than six weeks ago, and it was admittedly pretty grim. I’d confessed that I wasn’t handling the stress of mid-2016 very well, and that I’d come to realize that I needed help to make it through.

Well… I’ve made it through. I’m not out of the woods, but things have gotten better.

Slowly but surely, I can see something to look forward to

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Confessions

September 10, 2016

Anyone reading my blog for the past several months knows that I’ve had a rough time, dealing with my father’s cancer and death, and everything that came in the aftermath of that. I haven’t been very public, though, about how bad things really have gotten.

Close friends know that blogging is often my therapy. And September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. So here goes: a few weeks ago, I sat on my kitchen floor with a giant bottle of Jack Daniels and a giant blue kitchen knife and came very close to killing myself.

Time to call in reinforcements

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100 days

August 21, 2016

Presidents are sometimes evaluated on their performance in the first one hundred days in office… Today, I look back and realize it’s been 100 days since my father’s death.

I knew losing a parent would be difficult, but I never imagined just how much burden would come with it. Let’s review, shall we?

I swear, the pulling never stops

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Cuisine and Confessions

July 30, 2016

Long-time readers and friends likely know of my obsession with the show Traces, which I first fell in love with in the Fall of 2008 when it toured through Charlotte. Since then, I’ve continued to marvel at the amazing work of the production company, 7 Doigts (Seven Fingers), even up to a few weeks ago with the phenomenal Cirque du Soleil: Paramour in New York.

But none of their previous work prepared me for Cuisine and Confessions. It isn’t hyperbole when I call the show stunning. Read the rest of this entry »


Reversal

July 27, 2016

Well, shit. For months I’ve been complaining that in the aftermath of my father’s death, I haven’t been able to properly grieve. Now it seems that I can’t stop crying, over a variety of things… But they’re all tangential to dad’s death, not about losing him specifically.

I’ve lost count of how many things I’ve cried over in the last day alone. WTF.

Me lately, if I run out of Splenda for my coffee.

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I dreamed a dream

July 26, 2016

I don’t often have vivid, memorable dreams… But this morning around 3 o’clock, I woke up from a dream in which I was crying, and found myself actually crying. And not softly or quietly, either.

My poor husband… He’s had to put up with so much from me these last few months.

It was like this… but no teddy bear.

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My favorite 4th of July story

July 4, 2016

The 4th of July (aka Independence Day) is, of course, a big holiday in the United States. It has patriotic nostalgia for lots of Americans, but for me, it has some family nostalgia as well.

It was one of those rare holidays that my dad really enjoyed. And not surprisingly, my favorite 4th of July memory is one of them.

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